No One's Safe
by Tookeyface
Summary: While trying to interview our favorite characters, All hell breaks loose.


_Fanfiction_

_To some, the ultimate expression of love for a series_

_To others, the ultimate way to torture a character_  
_Wither they like it or not_

**_Inuyasha: Part 1_**

Tookeyface: "As you read in the summery we will be interviewing every single person we know from Anime, Games, Cartoons, and Books."

RIAX: "We shall be interviewing them for their secrets, truth, and of course torments"

Tookeyface: "And for their plain old stupidity"

JIAX: "Can we get this started already I'm getting bored"

T: "Fine, first up of course is the Inuyasha crew. We have Inuyasha, Kagome, & Kikyo"

J: "How did you get them in here with out killing each other?"

T: "Don't ask I had to ask certain "friends" to do so"

They all come into the room peacefully (thank god). They all sit down on the couch with Inuyasha in the middle with Kagome and Kikyo on his left and right.

T: "Now our first question"

J: "Inuyasha do you love Kagome?"

Inu: "Yes"

T: "But what about Kikyo?"

Inu: "Wait It's Kikyo I love"

Kag: Tears in her eyes "But you said you love me

Inu: I do"

Kik: "But what about me"

Inu: "I do wait, but" Sobbing "I'm so confused"

Throughout this whole thing RIAX was staring at Kikyo.

Kik: Finally noticing RIAX staring at her "what are you looking at?"

R: "**YOU'RE A DEAD LADY**"

Kik: "**WHAT** how dare you"

R: "But it's true. Inuyasha how could you love someone who's **DEAD**. She's a **DEAD** **LADY"**

Inu: "I loved her before she died, but what you said is true, I loved the Kikyo that was alive, not dead."

R: "HA, HA dead lady lost her guy"

Kik: "**GRRRRRRRRR** I'm going to **KILL YOU**" She pulls out a bow and arrow

T: "I thought you took away the weapons"

J: "I did, she must have hid it where I would never look"

T: "Where's that?"

J: "In her pants. I ain't touching those like RIAX said she's a dead la- I mean she's a non-living biological oddity that has taken on clay from that looks like her former self."

R: "For short Dead"

Kikyo pulls back the arrow and shoots RIAX in the arm

R: "AHHHHH, My arm you crazy dead lady"

RIAX tries to pull out the arrow but the holy power in it burns his hand.

T: "He can't touch holy or pure things"

R: "JIAX pull this out I'm begging you"

J: "Alright, just stop whining." Attempts to pull out the arrow but gets a small shock when he grabs it "Forget it your on your own"

T: "I guess I'm the only one who can take it out"

Tookeyface reaches for the arrow, twist it a couple of times just to see RIAX scream in pain then yanks it out. RIAX because of the pain and blood loss passes out.

T: "If he keeps this up I'm going to have to finish that potion sooner."

Kag: "What potion"

T: "Well RIAX has the tendency to get beat up to the point that he almost gets killed, so I decided to make what you my call a resurrection potion just for him cause knowing him he will get killed one of these days.

Kag: "OOOh o.k.

T: "But for now all I have is this potion that heals him only a little bit." Smirk "I like to see him suffer from the pain."

R: "Kikyo your dead right?"

K: "So"

R: "if someone were to kill you again would that make you A: A Dead, Dead Lady or B: Would you stay dead the second time."

There is dead silence

(A/N:

R: "Hey Tookeyface another dead joke"

T: "Shut up RIAX"

J: "Enough with the dead jokes")

The stupidity of the causes everyone in the room to fall anime style,

Tookeyface smacks RIAX upside his head.

T: Idiot!!!!

Kikyo shots RIAX in his other arm

R: "**OWWWWW**, enough with the arrows already!! Tookeyface can you please hurry up & take this thing out & no twisting this time."

T: "That is not how you ask, but since at this current moment in time I can not stand your crying I'll take it out" Grabs arrow & pushes it through RIAX's arm & pulls it out on the other side. RIAX starts whining like a dog.

J: "You're pitiful"

Inu: "stop mocking me"

R: Taking advantage of the situation "Bark, Bark"

Inu: "Where's the bone…Wait…Shut Up?

Sesshoumaru walks in

Sess: "I couldn't find it where is that bone…Wait, who called me"

Kag: "called you, what do you mean?"

Sess: "Someone just called and asked for help to look for their bone"

R: "Oh, so that's how you say that, O.K. How about Woof, Woof"

Inu: "I'm not a dog"

Koga: "Yeah, he's a mutt"

J: "Why are you people coming in here?"

R: "Hey look a bitch (the female dog one)

Inu/Koga: "Where"

Sess: "He's pointing at Kikyo"

Koga: "I prefer the living"

Kik: "What did you say you…you…you **JACKASS**

Koga: "Wolf not jackass"

R: He starts chanting "Jackass, Jackass, Jackass"

T: Reading a paper through out all of this "There's a new casino in Las Vegas with a solid gold Statue in it

Dead Silence

(A/N:

R: "Hey more dead silence")

J: "Why'd you just say that?"

T: "Because I can. Anyway let's go"

Kag: "Where?"

Inu: "Weren't you just listening?"

Sess: "No, she was staring at me. Why?"

Kag: "Umm-well"

R: "Let's go make some money" runs out the door leaving everyone behind

20 minutes later

Kagome has gotten pretty close to Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha realizes his brother unknowingly stole his "girlfriend" tries to kiss up to Kikyo and fails miserably. He then tries to get help with women with his only male friend, Miroku. (Where going to leave Miroku with his "work" and see what the results are later)

RIAX has become completely broke tries to steal the money from the Casino, gets caught & is kicked out.

R: "I got kicked out for cheating"

T: "I knew that was going to happen

J: fell asleep due to boredom

Still asleep JAIX gets up walks over to RIAX and slams him into a wall leaving a body imprint in said wall. Then walks back and sits down.

R: "**OWWWWW**"

T: watching the whole thing "O Crap it's started again"

Sess: "What started again?"  
T: "His sleeping problem. Sometimes when he falls asleep he gets up and attempts to beat the crap out of RIAX. It is a brutal Process that has yet to show signs of stopping"

JAIX gets up and walks towards RIAX

R: "NO…You'll never catch me alive" Runs off with JIAX (still asleep) right behind him

Dead Silence

(A/N:

R: "He, He, He another dead joke

J: "He, He there getting kinda funny

T: "You pair of dumb asses just get back to the story)

Minutes later Tookeyface's cell phone rings

T: "Chello"

R: "Yo T, I'm at a casino in Las Vegas, Nevada

T: "How the hell did you get there? We live in New York"

R: "Well first I snuck on a plane then I blew it up and jumped out. I then landed on a bus hijacked it and crashed into a-"

T: "No more please, I'm getting a headache"

R: "Well…Wait a minute, **WHAT HE HELL**?"

Screams, explosions, and a loud crashing sound are heard over the phone then the line is cut off.

5 Minutes later 

JIAX walks into the room sits back down then wakes up

J: "That was a good nap" Everyone in the room just looks at him scared "OK whatever it is either I didn't do it or I'm sorry"

T: "Thank you JIAX you killed RIAX"

Kik: "My clay senses are tingling he is alive but in great pain

Everyone just stares at her.

Kik: "What? The great amount of hate I feel toward him allows me to know when he's in pain. It makes me happy." 

T: "Why do I always know people with issues? I'll be back"

Tookeyface leaves the room mumbling about crazy cousins and anime people with issues

Inu: "Where'd do you think she's going"

Kag: "Don't know, anyway Sesshoumaru you were telling me about Inuyasha when he was a kid continue please.

Sess: "What was I up to?"

Kag: "You threw the stick"

Sess: "Oh, yes" you can see the laughter in his eyes

Inu: "What, **NO** not that one, anything but that"

Koga: "Well if mutt-face over there doesn't want people to know, then I do"

Inu: "You of all people are not going to hear this you mangy wolf"

Koga: "Oh yeah, make me"

They get into their fighting stances, when just as their about to attack Tookeyface walks back into the room with RIAX on her back. They stop and watch as Tookeyface just drops RIAX onto the floor on his back. He's knocked out cold. They all see that RIAX has a giant and I mean **GIANT **piece of gold sticking out of his stomach.

Inu: "What the hell happened to him?"

T: "Well from what the police told me RIAX was at the casino and JIAX came out of nowhere and hit RIAX so hard it broke almost every bone in his body and their solid gold statue, of something I don't care about. JIAX Then left RIAX there and now he has that in his stomach."

J: "Wow… that's a big piece of gold"  
Kag: "Don't you care, he's your brother"  
J: shrugs "No, I'm used to this. He gets beat up too many times and I've stopped caring. Hey we can use that gold to buy a new place for our interviews"

T: "Hmm, that's a good idea. I'll get started on getting it out. Knowing RIAX he's got other pieces in his body"

Tookeyface then picks RIAX by his arm, the only thing not broken on his body, and drags him out the room leaving a trail of blood behind.

Kik: "Seeing him in pain brings me great joy" 

Tookeyface: "Alright that's our first chapter and we hope you like it"

JIAX: "Yeah there's more where that came from"

RIAX: "Will you please take the damn gold out of me already it hurts"

Tookeyface: "Oh will you stop with your belly aching I'll be with you in a minute"

JIAX: "Belly aching, now that's funny"


End file.
